Episode 6.14: For Those Who Would Gather
by The Powers That Be
Summary: It's Buffy's 21st birthday, and despite her expressed wish not to celebrate, Giles is determined to make it special - and a new vampire (?) is determined to make a present of the slayer. Meanwhile Buffy and Dawn's rift grows larger.


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enjoy our script. In addition, in response to those of you who are not liking where the storyline is going, keep in mind that like Joss, we have  
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
  
Summer Script Challenge  
  
The Powers that Be Pro Temporae  
  
Episode 6.14: For Those Who Would Gather  
  
By J.A.I.T., SWS, JodithGrace  
  
GILES (VO)  
  
Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...  
  
From Fish in the Sea:  
  
Buffy and Spike discussing their feelings for one another with Anya and Xander. Xander looks suspiciously at Anya and Spike  
talking.  
  
From Rifting:  
  
Dawn ripping the demon apart, Dawn telling off Buffy, then to Lydia shocked that Travers isn't weirded out by the Slayer fight.  
  
From Surprise:  
  
BUFFY and HULKING VAMP come crashing through the window at the side of the Bronze. Glass flies everywhere. They land on the stage, struggle briefly but BUFFY has the upper hand. She stakes him.  
  
Cordelia pops up from behind a couch.  
  
CORDELIA  
  
Surprise!  
  
  
OZ  
  
That pretty much sums it up.  
  
From Blood Ties:  
  
Buffy opens Dawn's present. It's a picture of her and Dawn laughing and hugging each other on the beach, in a frame adorned with seashells. It hits Buffy hard.  
  
DAWN  
  
Jeez, don't get all Movie of the Week. I  
  
was just too cheap to buy you a real present.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Thank you.  
  
Buffy hugs her close.  
  
and  
  
DAWN  
  
Is this blood?  
  
  
JOYCE  
  
Dawn!  
  
  
From The Point Of No Return:  
  
LYDIA  
  
The new Slayer… It's Dawn…  
  
CUT TO: Spike in agony as a bright light envelops him.  
  
LYDIA  
  
He's human - he's got  
  
a soul now.  
  
  
  
  
TEASER  
  
EXT. - GILES HOUSE - day  
  
Establishing shot.  
  
INT. - GILES HOUSE - day  
  
We see Buffy walking through the house with a bag of groceries...a schmuck baity feel to it. She's definitely stalking something.  
  
ANGLE ON  
  
Buffy's POV. She's following a phone cord. We can hear the sounds of someone in conversation, but it's too muffled to make out words. Buffy trails the phone cord to the closet. Just as she's about to rip the door open we hear:  
  
GILES  
  
I know what happened before, which is  
  
why I want this one to be special...  
  
ANGLE ON: Buffy's POV of Giles in classic teenager-trying-to-get-privacy pose.  
  
ANGLE ON: Giles' POV of highly pissed off Buffy.  
  
GILES  
  
Oh, uh, Buffy...Buffy's here...Damn.  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Takes phone receiver away from GILES,   
  
says into it)  
  
Sorry, the surprise party is off.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. - HOWARD'S HOUSE - day  
  
We see a man hanging a banner. It's HOWARD. The place looks homey, with couches and wall hangings and carpeting and a fridge, but if we look real closely, we see it's a sewer tunnel offshoot. We see the banner says, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSE! There are balloons, streamers, big   
wrapped presents, and a superfluous amount of teddy bears for my taste.   
  
ROSE (OS)  
  
Daddy... I'm hungry.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
(Almost falling off stepladder)  
  
J-just a minute, honey!  
  
ROSE comes in, she's about eight years old. She's carrying a teddy bear. Which she promptly bounces off her father's head.  
  
ROSE  
  
I'm hungry now!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Wouldn't you like to open your presents first?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
No. Food first!   
  
  
HOWARD  
  
I'll go get you something to eat right away, Honey  
  
Bear! What would you like for your special  
  
Birthday meal?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
(Morphing into game face)  
  
I want Slayer blood!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
B-but Honey Bear…  
  
  
ROSE  
  
That's why we came here, right?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Sure, honey….but it's just not that easy…  
  
  
ROSE  
  
(Throws herself on the floor and   
  
starts screaming)  
  
I want Slayer blood now! NOW NOW NOW   
  
NOW NOW NOW NOW---  
  
CREDITS  
  
ACT ONE  
  
  
INT. WILLY'S BAR - day (but not so as you'd know it)  
  
Cut to Willy's bar. Howard is there, a bit nervous. He doesn't get out much. He's dressed in a trench coat, sunglasses, and a fedora. Tré Film Noir.  
  
WILLY  
  
What'll it be, pal?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Uh, white wine spritzer, please.  
  
  
WILLY  
  
Sure you don't want a Bloody Mary?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Um, no, I stay away from hard alcohol.  
  
  
WILLY  
  
Jeez, you're really new at this vampire  
  
stuff, aren't you?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
(Panicked)  
  
Vampire?  
  
(Realizing this is an asset here)  
  
That's right...I'm a vampire, so you  
  
better listen to me here...I  
  
need some information, and you  
  
know what'll happen if I don't get  
  
what I need from you, right?  
  
  
WILLY  
  
(Rolling his eyes)  
  
Please, I've got scarier cockroaches  
  
than you in this place.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
(Dejected)  
  
Oh. I guess that this wasn't  
  
such a good idea...I just heard  
  
that you were the person to  
  
come to for information about  
  
what goes on in this town.  
  
  
WILLY  
  
(Importantly)  
  
Well, you heard right about  
  
that...but the kind of info I have  
  
is very valuable, and very costly.  
  
As in cash money...in advance.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
(Resigned to paying for things)  
  
How much is it?  
  
  
WILLY  
  
(Thinking quickly)  
  
Oh...um...it's gonna cost you  
  
two hundred, for starters...could  
  
be more, depending on what you  
  
want to know.  
  
  
HOWARD hands over the cash. WILLY pockets it gleefully.  
  
  
WILLY  
  
Okay, so what do you want to know?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Where is the Slayer?  
  
  
WILLY  
  
Sorry, won't help you.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
But I gave you money!  
  
  
  
  
WILLY  
  
Yeah, and she'll give me trouble,  
  
which I do not need. You know this  
  
job does not come with major  
  
medical, which I will need if I start  
  
messing with the Slayer. This I will  
  
not do. But you did pay for something  
  
so I'm gonna give you some advice.  
  
Stay away from the Slayer.  
  
  
WILLY makes a dismissive gesture. HOWARD grabs him by the lapels.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
(Angry and desperate)  
  
You don't understand! I have  
  
to find her. You don't know  
  
what I'm up against!  
  
The THIRD DEMON FROM THE LEFT is WILLY's bouncer (tee hee!); it chucks HOWARD down the access tunnel.   
  
TDFTLAWB  
  
Don't come around here again.  
  
INT. SEWER TUNNELS - day.  
  
HOWARD brushes himself off, squaring his hat.  
  
HOWARD  
  
You people obviously have no  
  
idea how hard it is to...  
  
INT. GILES HOUSE - KITCHEN - day  
  
GILES  
  
...do something special. After all, it is your  
  
twenty-first birthday, Buffy...traditionally  
  
this is a rite of passage into adulthood, for a  
  
Slayer it's doubly significant.  
  
Giles is sitting at the table with Buffy pacing back and forth behind him. He looks like a disobedient teenager explaining something to his angry parent. And Buffy does look pissed off. She's unpacking groceries as she paces.  
  
BUFFY  
  
Hello! Does anyone remember last year?  
  
Buffy's birthdays all begin with  
  
hats and merriment and happy  
  
la-las and end with bloodbaths.  
  
  
GILES  
  
Yes, well, what happened last year with  
  
Dawn was unfortunate, but there's  
  
certainly no danger that it would  
  
be repeated this year, and-  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Cutting him off)  
  
No and no! I am not having a birthday party  
  
this year!  
  
Dawn walks in as she says this and adds her two cents.  
  
DAWN  
  
Finally, you're understanding what it means to be  
  
a Slayer.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Shooting look o' death)  
  
No, I'm going to stay in tonight with my head under  
  
a blanket to avoid disaster. But this is a conversation we  
  
will finish later.  
  
(To Giles)  
  
No party.  
  
  
GILES  
  
But--  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
No. Party. Noparty. Nopers on the party. No hats,  
  
no candles, no cake...  
  
(Phone rings, Buffy picks it up)  
  
No party tonight!  
  
(She slams it down)  
  
  
GILES  
  
This is really a day to celebrate...  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
If we all survive till tomorrow, then we'll celebrate.   
  
Not before then.  
  
INT. SEWER TUNNELS - night.  
  
HOWARD is pacing back and forth, muttering to himself  
  
HOWARD  
  
(Practicing)  
  
Rose, honey, the thing is, Daddy tried, honey bear,  
  
but...no no no, she'll be screaming for days, I  
  
have to get her what she wants, I just have to-  
  
  
VOICE  
  
(o.s.)  
  
Psssst. Hey, you.  
  
ANGLE ON: HOWARD's POV: we see a rather scrawny and weasely looking SNITCH VAMPIRE, obviously having come down the same way HOWARD had been unceremoniously dumped from. He's looking nervous but eager.  
  
HOWARD  
  
What do you want?  
  
  
SNITCH VAMP  
  
I heard what you asked Willy.  
  
Man, I know where the Slayer  
  
lives, and I'm willing to share that  
  
piece of info, for the same price  
  
Willy got.  
  
HOWARD immediately reaches into his pocket in relief, then eyes narrow in suspicion.  
  
HOWARD  
  
How do I know you're on the up and  
  
up? I'm not handing over the money  
  
till I get the address.  
  
SNITCH VAMP doesn't like this, but holds out a slip of paper. HOWARD snatches it eagerly and reads it.  
  
SNITCH VAMP  
  
This is where's she's living these days. I   
  
swear!   
  
HOWARD reaches into his coat like he's going for his wallet. We are watching SNITCH VAMP over HOWARD'S shoulder and can't really see what he's dong.  
  
SNITCH VAMP  
  
There, you see? I held up my part  
  
of the bargain...though I don't know  
  
why you'd want to actually go up against  
  
the Slayer, but hey, it's your second  
  
funeral-oof!  
  
SNITCH VAMP explodes into dust, and we see that HOWARD has staked him. He looks back at the paper eagerly and begins talking as if the vamp was still there.  
  
HOWARD  
  
Funeral? Oh no, it's not my  
  
funeral, my friend...  
  
(Switching to game face but not looking happy)  
  
It's my party.  
  
BLACK OUT  
  
ACT TWO  
  
GILES' Living room. GILES comes in bearing a large bowl of chips, for the impending crowd. DAWN comes in and flops down in an armchair. BUFFY remains in the Kitchen. The doorbell rings. GILES answers it, large bowl of chips still in hand. It is ANYA and XANDER.  
  
GILES  
  
Oh good. You're here. I'm afraid I've   
  
got some bad news on the party front.  
  
  
XANDER  
  
Let me guess. Buffy found out our   
  
big surprise.  
  
XANDER helps himself to chips from the bowl.  
  
ANYA  
  
(also helping herself to some chips)  
  
What? And we were so sneaky too...  
  
in a good way.   
  
  
XANDER (To ANYA)  
  
Oh yeah...and what do you know about   
  
being sneaky…the not so good way?  
  
  
ANYA  
  
(Innocently)   
  
What do you mean? I thought that it   
  
was okay to be sneaky if it was   
  
for a good cause...like jumping  
  
out at somebody and shouting   
  
"surprise!"   
  
  
GILES  
  
Excuse me…It's not just that Buffy found out...  
  
  
Before he can explain, the doorbell rings again, and it is WILLOW and TARA. They come in and help themselves to chips.  
  
  
XANDER  
  
Hey Will, Tara. Bad news. Buffy found   
  
out the big secret.  
  
  
ANYA  
  
In spite of all of our stealthiness.  
  
  
XANDER looks at her suspiciously.  
  
  
GILES  
  
No, that's not it exactly.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Who told? Spike? Was it Spike?   
  
He is such a blabbermouth.  
  
  
GILES  
  
No. I'm afraid…  
  
  
The doorbell rings again. In comes SPIKE with a six pack of beer.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Spike! Did you tell Buffy about the party?   
  
  
SPIKE joins the crowd gathered around GILES eating chips out of his bowl.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Me? No. Bloody hell...she found   
  
out? Can't you lot be trusted with   
  
the simplest secret?   
  
(Reaching into the chip bowl)   
  
Are these salt and vinegar?  
  
  
GILES  
  
WILL EVERYBODY STOP EATING   
  
BLOODY CHIPS FOR ONE BLOODY   
  
MINUTE? Does nobody feed you   
  
people?  
  
  
They all drop chips and back away) It doesn't matter how Buffy found out about the party. The fact is she doesn't want it!  
  
  
XANDER  
  
What...no birthday bash for the Buffster?  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Did she say why?  
  
  
BUFFY comes in with a bowl of dip for the now rather extinct chips. Everybody looks shocked to see her there. During the next exchange, people find seats; SPIKE puts the beer on the table, and takes one, GILES takes the dip from BUFFY, and puts the chip bowl on the table with the dip next to it, where nobody touches it.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
So...do all of you have amnesia, or what?   
  
Hi Spike! Hi everybody.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
You're here. You're not supposed to be here.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Hello, Buffy.  
  
  
ANYA  
  
This was supposed to be a secret  
  
meeting. A stealthy secret   
  
meeting. With chips. Except   
  
that Giles won't let us have any.   
  
(To GILES)  
  
Why isn't she gone, Giles?  
  
  
GILES   
  
(Chagrined)  
  
I sent her to the supermarket.   
  
With a very long list.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
It just so happens that I shop at   
  
super slayer speed…especially   
  
when I know that something's up.  
  
  
TARA  
  
Buffy, why don't you want a Birthday   
  
party?  
  
(She smiles at WILLOW)  
  
They can be really fun.  
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(Disappointed)  
  
First one I would've been invited to.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Smiles at SPIKE)   
  
Tara and Spike are the only ones here  
  
who have any excuse for not   
  
remembering my birthday disasters  
  
of the past. And even Tara was   
  
there for last year's bloodletting.  
  
  
DAWN   
  
(from the depths of her easy chair)  
  
I was just a child then. I had   
  
no idea of my true destiny.  
  
  
GILES  
  
(Trying to head off another BUFFY/DAWN confrontation)  
  
You know, Buffy. Not all of your parties  
  
have been disasters. Remember the surprise  
  
gathering we had for your 19th Birthday?  
  
At your dormitory?  
  
  
BUFFY (Thinks)  
  
Why yes, Giles. You're right…there  
  
wasn't any actual blood spilled at  
  
that party. Though I do believe  
  
several partygoers expired of boredom,  
  
you being chief among them.  
  
  
GILES  
  
M-me? Yes, well, it wasn't exactly  
  
my crowd.  
  
(Remembering back)  
  
S-say, wasn't that the occasion when  
  
you first introduced me to Riley?  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
I rest my case! No party.  
  
  
XANDER  
  
(Singing like the Beastie Boys)  
  
She's gonna fight! For the right! Not   
  
to paaarrrtay!  
  
SPIKE, restless, gets up and starts looking around GILES' house.  
  
GILES  
  
Spike, what on earth are you doing?  
  
  
XANDER  
  
Casing the joint?  
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(At dining table)  
  
I remember this place. Pleasant Thanksgiving   
  
dinner, all tied up, being shot at by Red   
  
Indians. Buffy made a bear.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
No I didn't. I made a turkey!  
  
  
XANDER   
  
(Grimacing)  
  
Please don't remind me of that   
  
horrible Thanksgiving.  
  
  
ANYA  
  
Oh…but you were so cute and sickly.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Not one of our better Holiday efforts, if I   
  
recall.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Well, if you prefer, this year I could make   
  
a ham.  
  
  
SPIKE walks over to the bathroom door.  
  
SPIKE  
  
Spent a few days tied up in that bathtub   
  
when I first got my chip.  
  
(To GILES)  
  
Still got that Librarian mug with the   
  
heart on it?  
  
  
GILES  
  
Spike…if all of this nostalgia is an attempt  
  
to wangle an invitation to move back in   
  
here, I am unmoved.   
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Well, you see, my crypt is proving   
  
bloody uncomfortable these days. And  
  
as I'm a bit low on funds, I thought  
  
you might consider takin' me in. I'll   
  
take a sofa, anything.   
  
  
BUFFY  
  
We could do that, couldn't we, Giles?   
  
(To SPIKE)  
  
Would you like me to show you the upstairs?   
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Sure.   
  
  
GILES  
  
Please. By all means. Make yourself   
  
at home. Have you got any other   
  
friends you'd like to move in as well?   
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(slaps GILES on the shoulder)  
  
Thanks, Rupe!  
  
  
  
  
BUFFY and SPIKE go upstairs.  
  
  
  
GILES   
  
(Yelling up to them)  
  
That wasn't a yes! That was sarcasm!  
  
Cut to upstairs in GILES' house. Hallway.  
  
BUFFY  
  
Actually, I was just trying to get you   
  
alone for a moment.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Figured. Though it was so subtle you   
  
probably fooled everyone else.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Well, let them think what they want.   
  
She puts her arms around SPIKE. They kiss. SPIKE pulls away first.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Actually, this is as good a time as any   
  
to give you your Birthday present, since   
  
you're not havin' a party.  
  
  
SPIKE takes a small box out of his pocket and hands it to BUFFY.  
  
SPIKE  
  
Don't open it now.  
  
BUFFY  
  
Thank you. You didn't steal this did, you?  
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(Insulted)  
  
What...and have you throw me in jail?   
  
What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?  
  
BUFFY  
  
I don't know, Spike. Are you my   
  
boyfriend? Except for going out a   
  
couple of times, I've barely seen   
  
you. I saw more of you when we   
  
were mortal enemies.  
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(Grins)  
  
Yeah…that was fun wasn't it?   
  
(Awkward)   
  
Well, I've had a lot on my mind. A lot   
  
to think about. Now that I'm suddenly   
  
human and all.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
I know. I'm not blaming you. I was   
  
just wondering where things stood with   
  
us…if there even was an us. You know?  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Yeah. Been wonderin' the same thing.   
  
Fact is…well, nevermind.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
What?  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Well, it's your birthday and all…not the   
  
best time for all this.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
All what? You have to tell me now, Spike,   
  
Birthday or no birthday.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Well, it's not you. Nothin' personal, you   
  
understand?  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Uh oh…Why do I get the feeling that I know   
  
where this is going?  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
It's me. I think maybe I was a bit hasty   
  
asking you out and all. Right now just isn't   
  
the time for me to be thinkin' about   
  
all that. I mean you've been great   
  
helpin' me adjust, and with the guilt   
  
and everything. But my unlife has suddenly   
  
become a…life! And…  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
And what you really need right now is   
  
a friend?  
  
  
SPIKE (relieved)  
  
Well…yeah!  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Funny…I've never been on the receiving   
  
end of one of these conversations.   
  
It's not quite as much fun as I imagined.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Well, oddly enough, I've never been on this   
  
end. It's not much fun from here either.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
It was the movie, wasn't it? I failed the   
  
foreign film test. I suspected it at the time.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
It wasn't that. Exactly. But face it, Buffy…  
  
aside from slaying…what do we really   
  
have in common? We don't like the same   
  
movies, or TV shows…  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
What…that idiot show Passions?  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
See…you just don't get it. Or music.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Well, excuse me, Mr. Stuck in the 80s! Or   
  
was it the 70's?  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
But we could probably get around all that stuff,   
  
if I wasn't so bloody tied up with all these   
  
confounded humanity issues. Like findin' a place   
  
to live and a job, and…  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Giles will take you in. I'll talk him into it.  
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(Sighs)  
  
Yeah…a sodding sofa.  
  
  
BUFFY   
  
(gesturing towards her room, coyly)  
  
Well, you could have had a bed…or at least   
  
half of one.  
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(Regretfully)  
  
Buffy…don't make this harder than it is.   
  
You know I want you. It's just with Anya   
  
busy makin' plans to marry us off, and   
  
all, I just can't do it right now. Okay, love?  
  
  
BUFFY (Sighs)  
  
Sure Spike. Friends it is. I guess we'd   
  
better go downstairs. Everybody's probably   
  
wondering what we're up to.   
  
  
SPIKE  
  
And jumpin' to all the wrong conclusions,   
  
no doubt.  
  
  
BUFFY   
  
(Looks at package, sadly)   
  
Should I give this back?  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
No! I want you to have it.   
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Thank you.  
  
  
BUFFY and SPIKE head downstairs.  
  
  
Cut to GILES' living room.   
  
XANDER  
  
So, Spike…does Giles' house meet with   
  
your approval?  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Well, it's okay. But I figure I'll check out   
  
yours next.  
  
  
XANDER   
  
(To Giles)  
  
Please Giles, can Spike stay with you?  
  
  
GILES  
  
Does it even matter what I say at this point?  
  
  
At this, the camera pans out of the house and we see the discussion continuing through the window from the viewpoint of HOWARD, who is doing a Peeping Tom at the window. He finally works up his nerve and goes around to the front door, rings the bell, and waits with game face on.   
  
The porch light comes on, and BUFFY opens the door.   
  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
I've come for the Slayer.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Total confusion)  
  
Which one?  
  
  
BLACK OUT  
  
  
ACT THREE  
  
HOWARD and BUFFY are having a momentary stare off. HOWARD appears about to explode in frustration.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
(Confused)  
  
Which one? I don't care which  
  
one…I just want the Slayer.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Sizing him up as no real trouble)  
  
You really don't have a preference?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
No. Can we just get this over with?  
  
I've got to get a move on here.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Smiling)  
  
I'm sorry. I really shouldn't hold   
  
up your death wish. Forgive me for   
  
being so rude.  
  
(Yelling behind her)  
  
Dawn! Someone's here for you!  
  
DAWN  
  
(Yelling back on her way to the door)  
  
Who is it and why didn't you invite…  
  
(Staring at HOWARD, nonplussed)  
  
That's a vampire.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Agreeably)  
  
Yes, it is. He asked for the Slayer.  
  
(Gestures towards HOWARD with a big game  
  
show flourish)  
  
Go. Slay.  
  
She begins to walk away, but DAWN grabs her arm and stops her.  
  
DAWN  
  
You can't just walk away. You have  
  
A sacred duty!  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
No, YOU have a sacred duty. I have  
  
party unplanning to do.  
  
  
DAWN  
  
You understand nothing about what it means  
  
to be the Slayer. I don't understand why the  
  
Council allows you to live.  
  
  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Dangerously)  
  
What did you say?  
  
The others have been talking in the background 'til now, pretty much ignoring the bickering, but the change in BUFFY's tone brings them all to attention, and they all hear DAWN's repeated reply. HOWARD is getting more and more agitated, shifting his feet and checking his watch in the background.  
  
DAWN  
  
(Slowly, as if talking to a child)  
  
I said, I don't understand why the council  
  
allows you to live.  
  
  
XANDER  
  
Okay...I think that all Slayers should just  
  
report to their neutral corners for time out  
  
right now.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(Ignoring him, hurt and more than a little angry)  
  
I can't believe you'd say that to me. Not only  
  
because I'm your sister, but because it's not  
  
true. I've been the Slayer since the most  
  
excitement you got was watching Saturday  
  
morning cartoons, little Miss Super Slayer,  
  
and I'm the best there ever was.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
(Under his breath)  
  
She said modestly.  
  
BUFFY catches the aside and flashes him a bore through your skull glare. Surreptitiously WILLOW, TARA and GILES begin removing anything that's breakable from the area and bringing it to another room.  
  
GILES  
  
Dawn. I think you had better go upstairs.  
  
  
DAWN  
  
(Shaking with anger)  
  
You're not the best Slayer; you're a disgrace  
  
to all Slayers. You bring shame to everything  
  
it means to be a Slayer.  
  
SPIKE   
  
(Seeing that BUFFY is about to blow and not   
  
wanting to admit that DAWN scared him at their   
  
last meeting)  
  
Buffy! I'm sure the Niblet didn't mean that   
  
quite the way it sounded…she's been under   
  
a lot of pressure lately, becomin' the new Slayer,   
  
and all. She hasn't quite got it all figured out.  
  
  
  
DAWN  
  
I most certainly did mean it…  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
She most certainly did mean it, Spike! And   
  
what do you know about being a Slayer,   
  
anyway, since you're acting like the big   
  
expert here.  
  
  
ANYA  
  
Buffy…there is no need to start yelling   
  
at Spike. He was only trying to help.  
  
  
XANDER   
  
(to ANYA)  
  
And who asked him to stick his nose   
  
into it? Buffy has a right to defend herself.  
  
  
ANYA  
  
Oh, sure, Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! It's always   
  
Buffy!  
  
XANDER  
  
And what is that supposed to mean? Here you   
  
are taking Spike's side…  
  
  
BUFFY   
  
(interrupting)  
  
Excuse me…Since when does Spike get a side?   
  
This argument is between Dawn and me.   
  
Dawn seems to feel that she is suddenly my   
  
judge and jury here.  
  
  
DAWN  
  
I am only stating some facts that should be   
  
obvious to all of you. Buffy has never   
  
understood the whole meaning of being   
  
a slayer. She has let herself be distracted   
  
by all of you irrelevant influences on her   
  
life.  
  
XANDER  
  
Irrelevant? Us?  
  
  
DAWN  
  
Yes. Irrelevant. Thanks to all of you,   
  
Buffy has let down the Council of   
  
Watchers, time and time again.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
That bunch of wankers? Lettin' 'em down?   
  
Stringin' 'em up, is more what they deserve!  
  
  
XANDER  
  
That's right, Dawn. Look how they've   
  
treated Buffy from day one. And Giles   
  
too.  
  
  
ANYA  
  
They actually tried to close down the Magic   
  
Box when they were here last year.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Dawn. My friends and family are the only   
  
reason I am still alive. They are more   
  
important to me than anything the Council   
  
could possible say or do.  
  
(softly)  
  
YOU are more important...  
  
BUFFY reaches out to her sister, who grabs her hand and pushes it away coldly.  
  
  
DAWN  
  
That's exactly my point. Your priorities   
  
are all screwed up, and always have been.  
  
  
BUFFY's face hardens at the rejection. She turns away.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
That's enough, Dawn.  
  
  
  
  
XANDER  
  
Yeah, Dawn.  
  
  
  
  
ANYA  
  
Dawn, I think they are trying to   
  
tell you to stop talking now.  
  
BUFFY   
  
(more frustrated than angry)  
  
In other words, shut up, Dawn. You   
  
don't have the faintest idea what   
  
you are talking about.  
  
  
DAWN  
  
Oh, I'll shut up. Talking to you people is   
  
pointless, anyway.   
  
(Suddenly remembering HOWARD at the door)   
  
And what do YOU want?  
  
Of course, the door is still open, and HOWARD is there getting cranky himself for being ignored.  
  
HOWARD  
  
Give me the slayer or else!  
  
  
DAWN  
  
Oh, for crying out loud...  
  
She reaches over, grabs his shirt, and makes to pull him into the room. But of course, he hasn't been invited, so his head slams into the invisible wall. She lets go; slams the door in his face, and he runs off.   
  
BUFFY  
  
Nice. Way to go, Dawn.  
  
DAWN stalks off, into another room.  
  
XANDER  
  
Well, since there isn't going to be a   
  
party...this is all rather pointless.   
  
(To ANYA)   
  
Unless you'd rather stay here and talk to Spike   
  
some more.  
  
  
  
  
ANYA   
  
(Completely oblivious)  
  
No. I have no need to talk to Spike at   
  
this moment. But we should get home.   
  
If we want a live band for our wedding,   
  
we have to listen to some sample tapes.   
  
I got 7 in the mail this week! So we   
  
have some serious listening to do. Oh…  
  
and we have to pick out the song for   
  
our first dance. Come on, Xander.   
  
  
XANDER  
  
Ooh...a live band…does this mean we   
  
get to do the chicken dance and the bunny   
  
hop?  
  
  
ANYA  
  
B-bunny hop? What is that? It sounds…grisly!  
  
  
  
  
XANDER  
  
Well, it is actually. Though seeing Spike   
  
do the chicken dance might be worth the   
  
cost of a live band.  
  
  
She and XANDER leave.  
  
SPIKE  
  
Buffy…would you like to go out for a walk?   
  
Just you and me?  
  
  
BUFFY   
  
(Taking out her frustration on the first available object)  
  
NO! Just leave me alone Spike! I've   
  
had enough of you and your interference for one night!  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
Bloody Hell. If I can't put in one word   
  
for Dawn without you bitin' my head off…  
  
I'll be off then! Happy Birthday!   
  
(He stalks out the door.)  
  
  
BUFFY stands at the door sadly, watching him leave, looking at the package still in her hand. WILLOW comes up to her and puts her arm around her.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Are you okay?  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
See…Apparently, I don't even have to   
  
have a party for there to be blood   
  
letting. Just having a Birthday is   
  
enough.  
  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. - HOWARD'S HOUSE - NIGHT  
  
HOWARD is standing there helplessly wringing his hands, while ROSE yells at him.  
  
ROSE  
  
Daddy! You mean to tell me that there are   
  
TWO slayers? And you didn't even bring   
  
me ONE of them?!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Rosie, honey bear. The Slayers were in a   
  
house and you know I can't get in without…  
  
  
ROSE  
  
You are so dumb! You are the   
  
stupidest father I have ever had!  
  
(Starts throwing things again)   
  
Why didn't you make the slayers come   
  
out?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
I tried, but…  
  
  
ROSE  
  
You can't just ask them to come out! You   
  
have to trick them!   
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Trick them? How?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
You have to take something they want. Like   
  
one of their friends!   
  
  
HOWARD   
  
(As the light dawns)  
  
You mean take one of their friends hostage   
  
and the Slayers will come to the rescue?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
Duh! And then...WHAM! I can have a slayer   
  
for lunch and for dinner!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Well, it could work.   
  
(Suddenly trying to assert his parental authority)   
  
But I don't know, Rosie, bear. You haven't   
  
been the best-behaved little girl today.   
  
Look at your toys all over the place.   
  
  
ROSE  
  
(With a sickeningly sweet smile)   
  
Please, Daddy? I'll be good. I promise   
  
to pick up all my toys. And you   
  
would be the very best Daddy. I'd   
  
love you forever and ever and ever.   
  
  
ROSE moves in and gives HOWARD a kiss and a huge hug.  
  
ANGLE ON: Closeup on HOWARD, he is genuinely moved by ROSE's declaration.  
  
ANGLE ON: Closeup on ROSE as we see that this is all an act and that she's barely tolerating her father.  
  
  
HOWARD   
  
(Overcome)  
  
Oh Rosie. What would I ever do without   
  
you? I'll get you your slayers. I   
  
promise. Wait. How would you like to   
  
come with me? You could help catch   
  
one of the slayer's friends.  
  
  
ROSE  
  
Oh…could I, Daddy?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Sure, honey. Maybe it's time to teach you   
  
how to hunt with me. Maybe you won't be   
  
so bored alone here all the time.  
  
  
ROSE   
  
Daddy? Could you get my pretty new   
  
pink sweater? I think I left it my bedroom.   
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Sure honey. I'll be right back, and we   
  
can go look for the slayer's friends.  
  
  
He goes into another tunnel offshoot. As soon as he leaves, ROSE drags a body out from behind the sofa, where she had stashed it when she heard HOWARD arrive. She drags it easily down one of the sewer tunnels. She looks down at the body, which is that of a full-grown man, probably homeless.  
  
ROSE   
  
(to CORPSE)  
  
He really is so stupid. I think it's about   
  
time to start looking for a new Daddy. What   
  
do you think?   
  
  
ROSE pushes the body down into a pit, and hurries back to where she was standing before, looking innocent. HOWARD comes back with the sweater.  
  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Ready, honey?  
  
  
ROSE (With a big smile)  
  
Yes, Daddy.   
  
  
They leave.  
  
  
FADE TO BLACK  
  
  
  
ACT FOUR  
  
  
EXT. - GILES HOUSE - NIGHT  
  
ANGLE ON: HOWARD and ROSE watching GILES' house from behind a nearby bush, waiting for somebody to emerge.   
  
ANGLE ON: HOWARD and ROSE's POV - WILLOW and TARA exit the house together.  
  
HOWARD  
  
Drat! There are two of them!  
  
ANGLE ON: HOWARD and ROSE watching from their hiding place.  
  
  
ROSE   
  
So what!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
That might be kind of difficult, honey bear.   
  
  
ROSE   
  
(threateningly)  
  
Daddy!  
  
  
WILLOW and TARA pass their hiding place, and after a beat ROSE falls in behind them. HOWARD reluctantly follows, hurrying to catch up with her.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Okay. Okay. I guess I could, uh,…let's see…  
  
  
ROSE  
  
Let me do it Daddy. They're ladies. Ladies like me.   
  
  
ANGLE ON: WILLOW and TARA, who are walking arm in arm, discussing the BUFFY/DAWN problem.  
  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
I honestly don't know what to think. Dawn   
  
has changed so much since she became the   
  
Slayer.  
  
  
  
  
TARA  
  
She just isn't the same sweet girl we knew.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
I can't believe that she talked to Buffy that   
  
way, after all Buffy has done for her.  
  
  
TARA  
  
Buffy sacrificed her life to save Dawn.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Exactly! And it was really bad, and Dawn   
  
was so sad. But now, Dawn suddenly acts   
  
like it's all in a day's work for a Slayer.  
  
  
TARA  
  
Poor Buffy. What a birthday! And then Spike   
  
left too.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Yeah…what was that all about?  
  
  
TARA  
  
I don't know, but it doesn't look good for those two.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
No. He's got a lot to deal with right now,   
  
becoming human and all.  
  
  
TARA  
  
Maybe it's not the best time to jump into   
  
a relationship.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
And I think we're just beginning to see the   
  
real Spike, under the Big Bad.  
  
  
TARA  
  
You think so?  
  
  
Suddenly ROSE appears in front of them crying piteously.  
  
WILLOW  
  
Look, Tara. A little girl. Alone at night.  
  
  
TARA  
  
In Sunnydale of all places!   
  
(She squats down in front of ROSE)   
  
Hi Honey. Why are you crying?  
  
  
ROSE   
  
(crying)  
  
M-my Daddy got taken away by a big   
  
scary m-man!  
  
  
WILLOW   
  
(also squatting)  
  
Oh Sweetie. What did he look like?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
Boogie Man. He had y-yellow eyes and   
  
big teeth!  
  
WILLOW and TARA exchange a glance. Vampire.   
  
TARA  
  
Where is your Mom? We'd better find her.  
  
  
ROSE (blubbering)  
  
I -I don't have a Mom.  
  
  
WILLOW (to TARA)  
  
What should we do? Should we bring   
  
her to the police? Or back to Giles'?   
  
We should tell Buffy about this.  
  
  
TARA  
  
Can you walk honey? It's only a few   
  
blocks away.  
  
  
ROSE starts crying really loud.   
  
  
TARA  
  
Uh, maybe I can carry you.   
  
  
ROSE stops crying and smiles sadly at TARA. TARA bends down and ROSE flings her arms around TARA'S neck. TARA tries to lift her, though she isn't a small 8-year-old. Suddenly, ROSE goes flying across the sidewalk and lands on a nearby lawn. WILLOW looks at TARA, shocked.  
  
  
TARA (equally shocked)  
  
She bit me!   
  
  
They look at ROSE who is calmly getting up in full vamp face.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
She's a vampire? Holy cow!  
  
  
At this moment HOWARD comes out of the bushes behind TARA and grabs her awkwardly. She pushes him off easily, but he comes at her again. ROSE comes at WILLOW. WILLOW and TARA look at each other.   
  
  
  
WILLOW and TARA   
  
(in unison)  
  
Freeze!  
  
  
HOWARD and ROSE freeze in mid-attack position.  
  
  
  
  
WILLOW   
  
(looks at them)  
  
What…are you two in cahoots?  
  
  
ROSE   
  
(defiantly)  
  
He's my Daddy!   
  
(To HOWARD)   
  
Get them, daddy! You promised!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Rosie, honey bear…Daddy can't exactly move   
  
right now!  
  
  
ROSE   
  
(in a tone that could peel paint)  
  
DADDY!   
  
(She turns to WILLOW and TARA, all sugar and honey)   
  
Please let me go. Please? My Daddy makes   
  
me hurt people. I'm just a little girl.   
  
(Tears start to come)   
  
I just want to go home. Please, Please,   
  
PLEASE, PLEASE!   
  
  
WILLOW   
  
(to TARA)  
  
What should we do? Look at her. She's   
  
only seven or eight years old.   
  
  
ROSE   
  
(sobbing)  
  
It-its' my B-birthday today. I'm eight   
  
years old.   
  
  
TARA  
  
(whispering to WILLOW)  
  
And it's her birthday too. We'd better get   
  
Buffy. Y-you stay here, Willow. You're   
  
stronger and can keep the spell up alone   
  
better than I can.  
  
  
WILLOW   
  
(whispering back to TARA)  
  
Okay, but hurry. I don't know how   
  
long I can keep this up.   
  
(She looks at ROSE and HOWARD)  
  
So…have you two been vampires long?   
  
  
TARA runs off back to GILES' house.  
  
HOWARD  
  
Listen, Miss. We won't do any harm.   
  
If you could just let us go. We'll leave   
  
this town. We haven't been here that   
  
long, anyway. Just passing through,   
  
really. My little girl needs me.   
  
  
WILLOW  
  
I'm sorry. You did try to attack us,   
  
you know. I have to wait for Buffy.  
  
  
ROSE   
  
(starting to get angry)  
  
You let me go this minute!   
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Look, honey, I'm really sorry about this.  
  
  
ROSE   
  
(screaming)  
  
You let me go NOW! NOW, NOW,   
  
NOW, NOW, NOW!  
  
  
WILLOW   
  
(sighs, nods her head at ROSE)  
  
Silence.  
  
  
ROSE is instantly silenced. Both WILLOW and HOWARD give a sigh of relief.  
  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Could you teach me to do that?  
  
  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Does she scream like that often?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
All the time.  
  
  
WILLOW   
  
(Shrugs sympathetically)  
  
Kids. What can you do?  
  
  
BUFFY and DAWN come running back with TARA.   
  
BUFFY  
  
What have we got here?   
  
(Looks at HOWARD)   
  
Hey…it's the door to door vamp man!   
  
Looks like you got your foot caught   
  
in the door. And who's this?   
  
(sickened)  
  
You turned a little kid?   
  
  
WILLOW  
  
His daughter.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
(To ROSE)   
  
What's your name?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
Mmmmppphhh!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Rose. And I'm Howard. Pleased   
  
to meet you.  
  
  
WILLOW   
  
(to BUFFY)  
  
She was disturbing the neighborhood. She's a bit…demanding. And she screams. A lot.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Shades of Veruca.  
  
WILLOW looks at her with a surprised and pained expression.  
  
BUFFY  
  
(apologetically, off WILLOW'S look)  
  
I meant Willy Wonka Veruca,   
  
Not Wolfy...never mind...  
  
  
DAWN   
  
(to HOWARD)  
  
Is she really your daughter?  
  
  
  
  
HOWARD   
  
(Outraged)  
  
Of course she is…what kind of a   
  
pervert do you think I am?   
  
  
DAWN whips out a stake and holds it to HOWARD'S chest.  
  
DAWN  
  
(coldly)  
  
Are you absolutely sure about that?  
  
  
HOWARD   
  
Well, no, uh, since you put it like   
  
that…actually, she's my….sire.  
  
  
BUFFY   
  
(shocked)  
  
What? How is that possible…she's too   
  
young to sire anybody!  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Look, Miss...uh, Slayer. It's kind of a   
  
long story..  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
It's Buffy. Well, I'm not going   
  
anywhere, and you two certainly aren't.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Rosie's parents were killed by vampires two   
  
days before her eighth birthday. I don't   
  
know why they turned Rosie instead of   
  
killing her. One of the vamps was   
  
a woman …maybe she wanted   
  
a child of her own. Anyway, Rose   
  
lived with her for a while. I'm uh,   
  
not really sure what happened, but   
  
Rosie was on her own for a while,   
  
and then she found me. I-I was   
  
at the airport on a business trip. I   
  
thought she was lost…she looked   
  
so small and alone.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Wait. That doesn't make any sense.   
  
You said she was turned two days   
  
before her eighth birthday. Her   
  
birthday is today. How could all   
  
that have happened in two days?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Miss, Rosie has been celebrating   
  
her eighth birthday since 1967.  
  
Everybody looks at ROSE, who makes a face.   
  
WILLOW  
  
Rosie, if I let you talk will   
  
you stop with the screaming?   
  
(Realizes that ROSE can't answer)   
  
Hmmm, well, you can't really answer, can   
  
you, or even nod, for that matter. So   
  
we'll just have to give it a try. Silence be   
  
done.  
  
  
ROSE glares at WILLOW, but doesn't scream.  
  
BUFFY  
  
Is this true, Rose?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
No! He's a big fat liar! He made me a   
  
vampire! He makes me do bad things. I'm   
  
just a little girl.  
  
  
HOWARD   
  
(Hurt)  
  
Rosie, honey bear. How can you   
  
say those things about me? Haven't I   
  
always given you everything you ever   
  
wanted?  
  
  
ROSE  
  
You didn't give me what I wanted for   
  
my birthday. And you're a mean   
  
daddy.   
  
(She starts to cry again)  
  
  
DAWN (To WILLOW)  
  
Let her go.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
You believe her?  
  
  
DAWN (More forcefully)  
  
Let her go.   
  
  
BUFFY nods at WILLOW. WILLOW waves her hand at ROSE, who collapses in a heap. She springs right up however. She looks up at DAWN gratefully, with wide innocent eyes.  
  
  
ROSE  
  
Are you a real Slayer?  
  
  
DAWN  
  
Yes, I am. My name is Dawn.   
  
  
With surprising agility, ROSE leaps at DAWN'S throat, knocking her down. They roll on the ground in mortal combat. {I keep picturing the fight between Austin Powers and Mini-Me}Before BUFFY can assist, DAWN stakes ROSE, who explodes into dust. HOWARD cries out in anguish.  
WILLOW frees him from his spell, and he rushes over to the small pile of dust, which even now is blowing away in the breeze.  
  
BUFFY  
  
Dawn…why did you want Willow to free   
  
her?  
  
  
DAWN  
  
Because I knew she would attack me.   
  
She was lying about being a child. I   
  
could sense how old she was…couldn't   
  
YOU? She's probably had dozens of   
  
"Daddies" and "Mommies" over the years,   
  
and killed them when she got tired of them.  
  
  
BUFFY   
  
(sadly)  
  
You're probably right. I had a bad   
  
feeling about her. But look at Howard,   
  
Dawn.  
  
  
HOWARD is weeping silently. WILLOW, TARA and BUFFY gather around him.  
  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
I'm sorry, Howard.  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
I don't blame you folks. You were just   
  
doing your job. Fact is, she was a horrible   
  
child, and everything you said about   
  
her is true. She would have staked me   
  
sooner or later…but I loved her anyway.   
  
Does that make any sense?  
  
BUFFY  
  
(pointed look at DAWN)  
  
Surprisingly, yes.   
  
(back to HOWARD)  
  
I guess nobody likes to be alone. But what   
  
about you? What are we going to do with   
  
you?   
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Stake me. Please.  
  
BUFFY  
  
What?  
  
  
HOWARD  
  
Stake me. Fact is, I'm a lousy vampire.   
  
I hate killing. If it wasn't for making sure   
  
that Rosie got fed, I wouldn't do it at   
  
all. And I suspect she was hunting on   
  
her own, because I was so bad   
  
at bringing home the bacon. And   
  
now I have no reason to exist. As   
  
awful as Rosie was...she was all I had.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Howard…I'm sorry but I can't stake you.   
  
I-I can't. I mean, you could buy blood from   
  
Willy's or the butcher shop. You don't have   
  
to kill. I know a couple of vampires who   
  
have done that for years. But I just can't   
  
kill you in cold blood. I'm sorry.   
  
  
ANGLE ON: BUFFY'S POV of a relieved HOWARD as he explodes into dust. Behind where he stood is DAWN, a self-satisfied smirk on her face.  
  
  
DAWN  
  
Cold blood, hot blood. No problem for a   
  
real Slayer. Bye, Sis.  
  
  
DAWN turns and walks away. BUFFY, WILLOW and TARA look at each other sadly.  
  
BUFFY   
  
(Bitterly)  
  
Dawn, the uber-slayer strikes again.  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Poor guy. All he wanted to do was care for that   
  
little girl.  
  
  
TARA  
  
I felt sorry for her too. Her whole childhood was   
  
warped.   
  
  
BUFFY  
  
And I thought my Birthdays were bad.   
  
Come back to Giles' with me? I don't   
  
want to be alone tonight.   
  
  
TARA and WILLOW nod, and they turn to walk away.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
  
EXT. - GILES' HOUSE - night  
  
Establishing shot.  
  
INT. - GILES Living Room - night  
  
  
BUFFY, TARA and WILLOW are sitting with GILES eating chips, when the doorbell rings. BUFFY stands up to open it, and we notice that she is wearing a pretty cameo pin on her blouse. XANDER and ANYA come in. ANYA is holding a bakery box.  
  
XANDER  
  
We decided that even if there wasn't a   
  
party tonight, that we still wanted to   
  
spend the evening with you, Buffy. Plus   
  
if I had to listen to one more rendition of   
  
"Shout"…I was going to shoot somebody.  
  
  
ANYA  
  
We brought you one of our sample wedding   
  
cakes. I took the little bride and groom off it.   
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Thanks guys. I'm actually feeling a little   
  
better about the whole birthday thing. I've   
  
decided that there are worse ways to spend   
  
a birthday than hanging with your friends.  
  
  
The doorbell rings again. BUFFY opens it and it is SPIKE.  
  
BUFFY SPIKE  
  
SPIKE! I'm so glad you're back! Buffy, listen…I had to come back…  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
You first.  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
Oh, Spike. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I   
  
shouldn't have taken my Dawn problems   
  
out on you. If you hadn't come I would   
  
have gone looking for you. This cameo is   
  
just beautiful. Thank you.  
  
  
SPIKE  
  
My mum had one like it. Afraid it's not   
  
a really good one...I didn't have   
  
much money. But I want you to   
  
know I didn't nick it or anything.   
  
I have the receipt.   
  
  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
I don't need to see the receipt, Spike.   
  
(He kisses her on the forehead)   
  
Come in. We're about to watch a   
  
truly bad movie. What did you get,   
  
Willow?  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
Aliens Part 3.   
  
  
XANDER  
  
The one where they try to pass off   
  
a Sigourney Weaver clone as the real   
  
thing? Jeez…who writes this drivel?  
  
  
SPIKE   
  
(Looking around)  
  
Where's Dawn?  
  
  
BUFFY  
  
She's decided to make like Greta Garbo   
  
tonight.  
  
  
XANDER (Doing a bad imitation)  
  
She vants to be alone….  
  
  
WILLOW  
  
We're not really missing her. This party can be   
  
pooped just as well by us.  
  
  
XANDER  
  
That's right...we are party poopers extraordinaire!  
  
  
They all come in and sit down. The couples are together. BUFFY and SPIKE sit together also. SPIKE puts his arm around   
BUFFY and she snuggles against him grateful not to be alone on her Birthday. GILES goes out and comes back with a bottle of champagne. TARA gets up and gets glasses and hands them around. GILES pops the cork.  
  
  
GILES  
  
To Buffy. Our favorite girl on her 21st   
  
birthday. Many, many more!  
  
  
As GILES is pouring the champagne, and everybody is raising their glasses for a toast, the camera scans up the stairs to show   
DAWN sitting at the top of the stairs, watching and listening darkly in the shadows. Dun dun DUN!   
  
  
  
  
TITLE CARD: TO BE CONTINUED  
  



End file.
